literature

Chapter 1: Strange Meeting

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I watch the wolf for a long time, she doesn't seem afraid of me. A gun shot makes her turn and run away. I turn and see my brother with a big grin on his face, he is holding father's gun and has a young deer in the other. I hate it when he goes hunting, I love nature and the forest we live in so much, but him hunting shatters the peaceful feel of the forest. If he found my wolf I don't know what I'll do, Jem hates animals and especially wolves. I love Jem of course but I wish he would stop hunting.


"Have a deer I see. Is that are meal tonight then?" I yell angrily. I shouldn't be angry with him but I am, he knows I love animals and he knows I hate him hunting.


"Yes it is and I'm going hunting again. I found wolf tracks not far from here." Jem snaps back. He storms off but I feel like my heart has gone into my mouth. Wolf tracks; Jem will only hunt them down and kill them. I had to find the den and get them away.


            I go into the cabin where my life had started and will probably end. Mother and father died when I was young which is why I live with Jem and he has father's gun. I run to my bedroom take a look round for maybe the last time. Grab my wolf teddy from the bed and a photo of mother and father and hurry to the kitchen. I ruffle up some bread, cheese and cold meat and fill a deer skin with water and run out of the back door into the woods. Jem wouldn't mind if I left he would just be worried. I didn't want him finding my wolf or her family if she had one. A gun shot made me stop still and listen hard. I was like a frightened rabbit waiting for the second shot and waiting to be picked up ruthlessly by Jem. I waited for what seemed like ages for Jem to come crashing through the brush but he didn't. Another boy did and he looked as surprised as I did. I thought Jem and I were the only ones who lived in the forest. Well at least I wasn't on my own any more. The boy in front of me looked a few years older seventeen or eighteen. I was only sixteen and I had never had a boyfriend. He was a bit taller than me and had bright green eyes and a mop of brown hair which had fallen over his eyes.


             "Who are you?" I asked timidly.


"My name is Luke. What's yours?" he asked gruffly.


I was a little taken aback by his voice but answered "My name is Jade. I was running away from home to find a wolf den and make her leave so my brother wouldn't hunt her and kill her." I didn't realise but I must have started crying because I felt Luke's arm come around me and he pulled me into a tight hug.


"I've run away from home too and I am also looking for a wolf den. My brother also hunts and hates wolves. In fact a whole hunting party has been sent out. There is a big reward for whoever hunts the wolves down first. I thought you were a wolf because of your red hair. The wolf I kind of befriended has a red coat and howls every night and I howl back and he answers me. I shot thinking it was him hoping he would run away and get his pack to come to me.  He said softly. In the embrace of this boy I felt safe and happy and I knew that from that day things wouldn't be the same again. Then a beautiful sound filled the air, a howl full of longing and sorrow. I reluctantly pulled myself out of Luke's hug and watched as he howled back and an answering howl came back. And then out of the bushes came a red wolf and with him were a pack and my wolf was among them.


             I didn't know what to do so from an indication from Luke I lifted my head and howled I didn't think anything would happen but then I heard a howl back and saw my wolf howling back to me. I went down on my knees like Luke was doing and waited, after five minutes my wolf padded towards me and nuzzled my knee and licked my trembling hand. I was crying with happiness now and so was Luke. He had his arms round the neck of the red wolf and was rolling around with him on the forest floor. Still with my hand in my wolf's fur I called to Luke "We should get moving so the hunting group don't find them. You have your friend back and I have mine. I also seemed to have made a new one you and the rest of this wolf pack."


Luke grinned back at me and replied "We have quite a family now and I have met you Jade a very pretty young girl." I blushed and started walking into the night which had settled over the forest. I knew if I was to keep up with Luke and the others I would have to grow strong and use all my senses and maybe learn a thing or two from the wolves. I had Luke who could hunt and I had well nothing at the moment but I would have something. I could feel that we would be having many adventures and that I may never see Jem again. I felt a pang of sadness as I thought of Jem but I had Luke now and I had the wolves, did I need Jem? I squashed that thought immediately but I needed to know if he still needed me. I started crying silently to myself and heard Luke behind me and knew he could tell I was crying.


             I turned to him and he held my hand and we walked on, I didn't want to talk so Luke let me walk in silence and I thought of mother and father, Jem and the cabin I had left behind and the new life that I had before me. Luke stopped my thoughts and I was glad of it I didn't want to be sad the whole time. "We should stop here for the night, the wolves will look round and wake us if there is danger and our special wolves will keep us warm." Luke was acting like the leader and he was very good at it. I smiled at him and walked a little further to a tree and sat down and looked at the moon. I heard Luke behind me and waited for him to speak but he didn't he sat down next to me with the wolves and I leant on his shoulder and fell asleep. I felt Luke's hand running through my hair and I heard the wolves howling to the moon.


        Luke had many thoughts running in his mind, he had found Jade after so many years and he didn't know if he should reveal his true identity or not. She wouldn't remember him from all that time ago and he didn't want her to remember he wanted to start over and have a new life with Jade and the wolves. He had been her first love but then she had been taken and he hadn't seen her again. His real name was Jasper and he was Prince of Erivale and had to return soon or his father would get worried but he couldn't leave Jade not yet. Jasper felt like he was on scales and had to choose between his father and Jade. He had never loved his father and he had never felt at home or part of the family. Ever since his mother Faina wolf had died Jasper had been left to his own devices and not cared about. Wolf why did he have that as a surname? He loved wolves but having them as a surname was weird and a little unreal. Jade stirred against him and he stroked her hair and she settled again. He could see storm clouds up ahead and knew a storm was coming and that they would all have to be on the move. Red came over to him and he stroked his red fur and watched the sky for a long time. While a little further behind Jem and some other men from the nearby town were trying to follow the tracks.

Chapter 1
© 2013 - 2024 Yaz-Kuran
Comments10
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Shadowhuntergirl's avatar
Oooh, I love the idea of this! There's just a few things you should watch out for in you're writing;

1) you seem to have quite a few run on sentences, or sentences that could use a comma. I think it might go a little more smoothly if you checked that out.

2) things moved along very quickly, especially in the first few sort of intro paragraphs. I feel like there could have been a little more description of Jade's surroundings, as well as how she came to be familiar with this particular wolf. I also wasn't too clear on what she hoped to accomplish once she found the wolf pack; how would she have protected them, or gotten them to safety? She doesn't seem to have a plan....but then, I suppose that's where Luke comes in!

3) I think you're characters are revealing way too much. Wouldn't Jade be a little more cautious around a random guy who just stepped out of the bushes (after firing a shot, no less) and started talking to her? He could have been a hunter! Why does she immediately trust him enough to tell him everything within the first few seconds of their meeting? It just seems a bit strange. Ok, and then there was the last bit that was from Luke's perspective. He basically told the reader everything! Something that keeps the readers interested is suspense, or maybe a little mystery. He told us exactly who he was, where he was from and his past relations with Jade (and a little contradiction there; I thought she had never had a boyfriend?). What I would do, is leave it as something along the lines of: I wonder if she'll recognize me....it leaves you wondering, ya know? And you can drop hints here and there in later chapters, little slip ups on Luke's part that might reveal his true identity.

Anyway, you don't have to make all the changes I suggested, but I highly recommend checking out the grammar, or getting a beta. Keep writing!